15. WHO AM I?

I am an ex top-level athlete, I learned to roller skate as a teenager and probably became the best in Finland in this sport. At 15, I ran 3,200 metres in the Cooper test. I got full points in a muscle strength test. I would have gotten extra points if they had handed them out.

I have also once been clinically dead or born again on 21.12.1996, which is, as I am sure you know, the real birthday of Jesus.

I have healed myself from a very serious brain damage that I attained as a result of this death. Of course I also have neuropsychologist Marja-Liisa Kaipio to thank for this miraculous healing. She taught me about the structure of the brain in February and March, 1997, and explained how to rehabilitate from the injury I had sustained. THANK YOU, MARJA-LIISA KAIPIO!

I always did well in school. I just could not proceed after the brain damage, as it impacted my memory and I had to learn everything again, starting with walking. When I was released from hospital after 11 months, my landlord sold my flat. I was forced to continue at Snellman College to get a dormitory room.

Here is another miracle, because before me, the medical view was that it is impossible to rehabilitate from a brain damage in under one year. I changed this. They no longer teach that.

I was also forced to take an additional study loan for the same purpose (which is illegal, by the way), because the private school was so expensive. The social services lady at the hospital told me to take out the private school I had already paid, because she did not think I could continue my studies. The social services lady with the city forced me to use the money from this study loan for my rent while my sick leave. In Finnish law society should have paid my rent because I went back to Snellman College but they twisted themselves out of it.

When I was taking a career choice test, after still being in hospital 10 months after my very serious brain damage, the career choice psychologist, Hannu Hyvärinen from the employment agency at Haapaniemenkatu street, downright commanded me with these exact words: ”You must go to college, my boy, any college, as long as it is a college.”

And I did. I went back to Snellman college, because if I hadn’t, the City of Helsinki would have let me, a man with severe brain damage, go homeless. The Social Services did not even attempt to meet me half way, and the housing agency was completely useless.

The Snellman college did not want me to continue in the spring of 1998 and graduate as a Steiner school teacher. They knew I had a brain damage and this probably made them too prejudiced to have me!

After that, I had no choice but to work poorly paid jobs in the social services sector, as I could get these jobs easily with my praising references from working as an instructor in the mental health services. I did this to support myself and to pay back my double student loans.

I gradually completed my own psychoanalysis in the process. This should be impossible to do, because an analysis cannot be performed by the person who is its subject.

Well, it wasn’t impossible for me because I was not the subject of the analysis that I performed but the individual that I used to be before my new self was born.

By chance, as I was cleaning the outpatient clinic of the Herttoniemi Hospital, I took a glimpse at a book on cognitive psychotherapy that I happened to find.

I immediately captured the human post-trauma survival strategy, then I realised how my trauma was repeated in its peculiarity – I did not remember my past after sustaining the injury.

I had been reliving all the traumas from my childhood.

When I found out this structure, I was able to complete my own psychoanalysis, or the previous guy’s.

With this book, I can be referred to as a psychologist, philosopher, biologist, religious scholar and sociologist, if the work done determines the person. In this book, I’ve contributed to all those sectors even though I have not studied any of them at university.

I do not claim to be any of these in any other fashion than through what I’ve done. And as I’ve completed several psychoanalysis, I could call myself a psychoanalyst on these grounds.

I have also explained how schizophrenia evolves. I’ve heard that no-one has managed to explain this before me, so I guess a Nobel Prize in Medicine is awaiting! Here we go: